


I’ve Loved You “Since the Beginning” (even if I don’t know it yet)

by ima_potatoto



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:53:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26450692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ima_potatoto/pseuds/ima_potatoto
Summary: Everything has been going great for the 5sos boys. Their new album was just released and was doing awesome, they are about to start their new tour, and feeling just over all really good about life.But three days before the boys are supposed to start the tour everything goes slightly to shit. The entire world wakes up with tattoos. The people of the internet quickly figure out that the tattoos are soul marks, basically the person you are destined to love forever has a matching tattoo to yours.---Sorry I’m terrible at summaries. This is a soulmate au based loosely off of softirwin’s story you and I were fireworks that went off too soon.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford & Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Crystal Leigh
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	1. Summary

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [you and i were fireworks that went off too soon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699611) by [softirwin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/pseuds/softirwin). 



Everything has been going great for the 5sos boys. Their new album was just released and was doing awesome, they are about to start their new tour, and feeling just over all really good about life.  
But three days before the boys are supposed to start the tour everything goes slightly to shit. The entire world wakes up with tattoos. The people of the internet quickly figure out that the tattoos are soul marks, basically the person you are destined to love forever has a matching tattoo to yours.


	2. The Gay Romcom We Never Knew We Needed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> Sorry I didn't get the chapter up last night, I remembered that I had a math test today so I had to study. Speaking of which, guess who got a 20% on the first pre calc quiz of the year? This girl.  
> Anyway I'm on my "lunch break" right now (t 9:45 in the frickin morning it's to early for lunch). This chapter is kind of like the opening inner monologue of every teen romcom. Also sorry it's short, I promise next weeks chapter will be longer.  
> I hope you enjoy. :)  
> Sincerely,  
> Potatoto

Calum’s Pov  
\---  
I met Michael when I was 6, from the moment we met it was like we were made for each other. We clicked immediately and we’ve been best friends ever since. We do absolutely everything together, and I mean EVERYTHING. It’s pretty much impossible to separate us, Michael has always gone to all of my football games, and I always have sat and listened to him play guitar or played video games with him, we slept over at each other’s houses every night when we were younger. And now we work together, I don’t think I could have asked for a better job either, I get to travel the world with my three best friends and play music for thousands of people every night.  
Even when Mike met Crystal, he still included me in everything. And let me tell you, watching the two of them make out constantly gets really uncomfortable really quickly. I’ve third wheeled more of their dates then I count at this point. The two of them are absolutely adorable together and I’m really happy for them.  
But I’m really starting to get tired of being the only single one in the band. Seeing Mike with Crystal, Luke with Sierra, and Ash with Kaykay, all the time is rubbing in just how single I am. And it’s not even fully my fault. I’ve known for a while that I don’t like girls, and I’m perfectly fine with that, but I haven’t told anyone. I vaguely brought it up to management once and they made it very clear that if any of us were gay it would bring about a big mess. So, I’ve stayed single, and absolutely no one knows why. I haven’t told anyone I’m gay, my parents don’t know, my sister doesn’t know, even Mike who I’ve told everything to doesn’t know. And I know they would be ok with it, but I just don’t feel like dealing with the mess that would happen if anyone slipped up and said something, so I just keep pretending that I’m a straight man that is perfectly fine being single, even though I’m the exact opposite.  
Anyway, other than that this year has been amazing, the new album is doing awesome, and we start tour in 4 days. But for right now we’re all taking in our last moments of calm before the craziness that is tour starts.  
I’m spending my time watching way too much Netflix with Duke. I think it’s about midnight and I’m almost halfway through re-watching season two of Umbrella academy when my phone starts going crazy. I ignored it at first, but then I heard the ringtone that I have set up of Mike screaming so I answered and was met with a very obviously freaking out Michael. And that phone call was the start of everything going to shit.


	3. The Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> This is really sad, I'm so sorry. I just want to say that I love Michael and think he deserves the world, this is purely fiction and I am so so sorry that I did this.   
> I hope you like it?  
> I don't know what else to say. So I hope you have a good day.  
> Sincerely,  
> Potatoto

Calum’s POV  
\---  
“Cal strip!” Is it sad that that isn’t the weirdest way he’s started a conversation with me?  
“What?”  
“Take off your clothes and look for a tattoo that wasn’t there before.”  
“Mike, bud is you ok?”   
“No Cal I’m not, now damn listen to me, take off your clothes and look for a tattoo that wasn’t there before. If you don’t believe me go on twitter or Insta or any kind of social media and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Call me back when you find it.” And then he hung up. I have no clue what he’s talking about, but I do know that there is no way there is a tattoo on my body that I don’t know about. This wouldn’t be the weirdest thing he’s drunk called me about, so I don’t really question it. But I still can’t help the weird feeling that has just settled in the pit of my stomach.  
I started up the episode again and kept watching trying to ignore what Michael had said. But about 10 minutes in I’ve gotten restless enough about that I think ‘fuck it’. And that’s how I found the endless stream of trending pictures of tattoo’s and theories about what they might mean.  
Some of the tattoos were decorative bands, or things that were important to that person, others were words or phrases, and there were some that were random and meant absolutely nothing to the person. Then there were the theories, people had started realizing that some people’s tattoo’s matched, and people that had matching tattoo were usually dating or married or just important to each other, but almost all of them were romantically related.  
A lot of people were saying that the marks were “soul marks”, whatever that means. But no one knows what the marks actually mean or how the marks showed up. All anyone knows is that at midnight everyone just had a random tattoo show up on their body.  
So naturally being curious I went to my bathroom and started looking to see what my mark was. It didn’t take long to find either, I’m honestly surprised I didn’t see it earlier. On the back of my right forearm in messy chicken scratch, were the words “Since the Beginning”.   
I actually kind of like it, I have no clue what it could possibly mean, but it’s strangely comforting. It sounds like something out of a Disney fairytale but it’s kind of cute. I don’t really mind it, and now that I’m looking at it a little closer its kind of looks like Mikey’s handwriting, so that’s a plus. Which reminds me that I was supposed to call Michael back.  
I grabbed my phone and pulled up Mikes number. I decided that I should probably facetime him so that I can just show him the tattoo instead of trying to describe it. He picked up on the first ring, so I guess he was waiting for me to call.  
“So, did you look?”  
“Wow no Hi or how was your day Calum? I feel so loved right now.” I said sarcastically  
“Hi Calum, I’m sure you did absolutely nothing today, now tell me what your tattoo is!”  
“Well if you must know it says, ‘Since the Beginning’.” And I moved my arm into frame so he could see it. The second I said it and showed him I could hear him gasp.  
“Cal” He said it breathily and he sounded kind of alarmed.  
“Yeah Mike?”  
“Cal.”  
“Mike are you ok, what’s wrong.”  
“Cal!”   
He put his phone down so I was looking at the ceiling, but I could sort of see him taking off his shirt.  
“Mike what are you doing?”  
“Cal look.” He picked his phone up again and showed me his arm, the moment I saw it I gasped. This can’t be happening, there sitting on his forearm in what looked like my handwriting were the same words that were on my arm.   
“Does that mean…”  
“I don’t know, no one does.”  
“But what if it does, then what?”  
“Cal it can’t mean anything romantic, I not gay and neither are you, I’m engaged for god sake! Cal we’ve been best friends since the beginning just like the mark says but like I said I’m not gay, we would never work in a romantic way because both of us are straight!”  
He sounds like he’s freaking out, and logically I know that he doesn’t mean for his words to sound so bad, that he’s probably having a serious identity crisis. But the built-up frustration from not having told anyone and anger from hearing those words makes me see red.  
“And what would be so bad if I wasn’t straight Michael. Huh. Maybe you are but guess what, I’m not. I’m Gay about as gay as they come, so tell me Michael what is so bad about that?”  
He just stared at me dumbfounded.  
I huffed, rolled my eyes, and hung up.  
For a couple of minutes, I just sat and laughed hysterically at my bathroom wall, but then the situation really set in and I started crying. I slid my back down my bathroom way and sat on the floor shirtless in my bathroom and cried. Because I had just come out to my best friend in the entire world and it couldn’t have gone more wrong.   
No one was supposed to know, and at least when no one knew I could trick myself into thinking that if I did tell anyone they would be accepting of it. But Michael the one person who has been by my side since day one, the one person who I thought I could trust with anything, had just stared at me like I was crazy after going on a rant about how awful it was that we might be made for each other.   
Shit, there is a good chance that the people on the internet are right, I mean it makes perfect sense. But if Michael my maybe soulmate and best friend ‘since the beginning’ might not ever talk to me again because of this, I don’t know what I’ll do.  
So, I did nothing I curled up in on a ball, still on my bathroom floor and fell asleep. And if I woke up hoping it was all a dream, hoping that there wasn’t a mark on my arm possibly branding me as my Michaels, hoping that I hadn’t done the one thing I’ve been wishing I could do for years, hoping that I hadn’t just ruined my life, no one needed to know.  
But it wasn’t a dream, I woke up on the floor with Michaels handwriting on my arm and tear tracks on my cheeks.  
I guess I should call my parents, tell them what’s going on before someone else tells them that their son is gay, before I possibly get kicked out of the band for liking guys, for being my best friends’ soulmate.   
But when I grab my phone, I see 30 missed calls and 50 texts from Michael, and some from Luke and Ash to. I ignore them, I don’t really need to have it rubbed in my face that I just ruined my life. I think deep down I know that I’m overreacting but right now all I can think of is how horribly this could go.


	4. The Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> Sorry this took so long, I've been surprisingly busy.  
> I don't really have much to say so hi I hope your doing good.   
> I hope you have a good day. I have to get to my next online class soooo.  
> Bye Bye  
> Sincerely,  
> Potatoto

Calum’s POV  
\---  
“Hey mom”  
“Calum is everything ok? You sound upset.”  
“Can I talk to you and dad for a minute?”  
“Of course, honey, just give me a second to go get him.”  
I’m doing this. I’m doing this. I’m going to tell them. I’ve been wanting to do this. I can do this. I tried to reassure myself.  
This is quite possibly the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I never planned on telling anyone yet here I am, on a call with my parents about to tell them that I’ve been keeping something so big from them for years. I mean this can’t go to, horribly right. I know they’ll be ok with it. I think. Oh god what if they hate me. What if th  
“Cal. Sweetheart I can hear you freaking out.” My mom’s voice interrupted my thoughts.  
“What’s wrong?” I heard my dad add.  
“Um well I uhm.” Shit I can’t do this.  
“Calum whatever it is that’s freaking you out, you can tell us.”  
“Uh well um I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while, butimgayanddontwantyoutohatemesoihaventsaidanything.”  
“What was that?”  
“Um I’m gay?”  
There was a beat of silence and it was just long enough for me to start freaking out that I had just severely fucked up.  
“Calum, we are perfectly fine with that. We’re happy that you told us.”   
“Really?” I squeaked out.  
“Of course, we are. We don’t care who you love as long as your happy.”  
“I really want to hug you right now.” Oh god I’m crying.  
“Kiddo if it makes you feel any better, we’ve had a hunch you were gay for a little while.”  
“You did?”  
“Yeah, you never really dated anyone or showed any interest in girls. So, we had an idea.”  
“That kinda makes sense.”  
“Not that there needs to be, but is there any specific reason your telling us this now?”  
“Well you know those tattoos that everyone got?”  
“Oh, the soulmate tattoos? Your father and I have matching ones.”  
“That’s great. But um, well Mikey called me after they showed up. And well me and Mike have matching tattoos.”  
“Honey that great, I always knew that you two would be perfect for each other.”  
“Well um when he found out he kind of blew up in my face about it. And let’s just say it didn’t go well, and I’m really worried that they’re going to kick me out of the band. I just wanted to tell you myself in case I get outed.”  
“Cal, those three boys have been by your side for years, I seriously doubt that you being gay will change any of that.”  
“I just don’t know mom, plus I’m worried that Mike officially hates me because I’m stealing him from his fiancé.”  
“I don’t think Michael is capable of hating you Calum.”  
“I used to think so to, but I think I’ve really messed it up this time.” Knock “um is it ok if I call you back there’s someone at my door?”  
“Of course, Calum, it was great to hear from you. Love you.”  
“Love you too, bye” And then I hung up.  
Who could possibly be here right now? I don’t think I ordered anything, and Mike probably hates me, and he probably told Luke and Ash, so they probably hate me now to.  
I walked over to the door and look through the peep hole to see Luke and Ash standing outside my door. What?  
“Cal, we know your there, will you please open the door?”


	5. Breakdowns ft. Lashton

Luke’s POV

\---

I still can’t really believe that this is real. I mean everyone just woke up one morning with these things, beautiful things, on their skin. Which is crazy on its own but knowing that they also lead us to the person who we’re supposed to love for the rest of our lives, it’s insane. And I love it so much.

But that’s not even the best part. The best part of all of this has to be him. In the back of my head, for years, I’ve known that I like guys, I’ve known that I maybe find him attractive, but have never really acted on it. But then he showed up at my door all frantic about the tattoos and we realized that ours match, and that was probably one of the best moments of my life. I really think that the matching needle and thread tattoos wrapping around our wrists is beautiful.

Ash is probably, no, definitely, the best thing that has happened to me. And I couldn’t be happier that we ended up being soulmates. It’s only been a couple of days, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. And I know that he’s really happy about us being together too.

What I’m worried about is how Michael and Calum will react. I really don’t want this to come between our friendship or the band. I know they won’t care that we’re gay, but I’m worried about them having an issue with me and Ashton dating because we’re in the band together.

It definitely isn’t helping my anxiety that neither of them have talked to me or ash since the tattoos showed up. I know Michael and Crystal are probably soulmates, but I have no idea who Calum’s soulmate might be. I’ve had a hunch for a while that Calum might not be into girls, but I don’t want to make any assumptions.

So since neither of them will answer us, me and Ash have decided to go to their houses. We decided to check in with Cal first since he lived closer.

We got to his house and knocked on the door. But no one answered, so we knocked again, a little louder this time, but still nothing. We know he’s home because his car is in the driveway, so we thought he was probably ignoring us. So, we yelled.

“Cal, we know your there, will you please open the door?”.

A couple seconds later the door opened to reveal and very scared, sad, but somewhat relieved looking Calum. He had bags under his eyes and tear tracks on his face. This is definitely not what I was expecting, but now I’m really worried.

“hi”. I barely heard him say it. He was looking at the floor, completely avoiding eye contact.

“Cal, what happened, you look like shit.” Straight to the point, as it always is with Ash. Well maybe not straight, but you get what I mean.

“what are you guys doing here? Did mike send you? I really didn’t mean to screw things up this much, I’m so sorry.” He sounded so scared, broken. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this, and it’s scaring me. But also, what does he mean ‘screw things up’ and would Michael have sent us, why wouldn’t he just come here himself if he needed something?

“Cal what are you talking about? Mike won’t answer his phone, we actually came here to talk to you about the tattoos, we tried calling you, but you didn’t answer.” When I mentioned the tattoos, he seemed to tense up really bad. Something is definitely wrong, and I’m guessing it has something to do with the tattoos.

“Umm what about the tattoos?” We’re sitting on the couch in his living room now, but he’s curling in on himself.

“We can talk about that in a minute, but first can you please tell us what’s going on? You look like got run over by a car, plus you’ve been walking around shirtless the whole time we’ve been here.”

“I don‘t want to talk about it, I don’t want you guys to hate me.”

“Cal we could never hate you, no matter what. How about this, you tell us what’s happened to you, and we will tell you what happened to us.” He nodded, and for the first time since we got here, he looked up and spoke at a normal volume,

“I guess this has kind of been a long time coming, I wasn’t really planning on talking about it any time soon, but I guess it’s better to hear it from my than someone else.”

“Cal what’s going on, what happened?”

“wh-when the tattoos showed up, I didn’t notice at first, but Mike called me and told me about it. He told me to see if I could find mine, that’s why I’m not wearing a shirt,”

“Cal, we found out about the tattoos days ago”

“I realize that but um, when I found my tattoo, well you can see for yourself.” And he held out his right arm. And sitting there on his arm was a tattoo that definitely wasn’t there the last time I saw him. It read ‘Since the Beginning’ in scratchy handwriting.

“Cal that’s a beautiful soul mar- “

“Don’t call it that. Please don’t. I really liked it at first too, but now I just really wish it would go away.”

“At first?”

“Why do you want it to go away?” Ashton added right after me.

“Well remember how I said I was on a call with Mike?”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with you not liking your mark?”

“Well um, I showed him, and he uh, well I don’t think he was very happy about it.” It sounded like he was holding back tears now.

“why not?” Ash whispered almost scared.

“cause the same three words on his right forearm too. But he has Crystal, and their really happy, and I don’t want to ruin that. Plus, it doesn’t even matter anyway, he’s straight, and I’m not, but he is. He said that this had to have been a mistake, that he would never work out. I think he hates me. And the worst part is that I really like him, and so I might have gotten a little defensive, but he doesn’t know how I feel. And he CAN’T know how I feel. I just wan him to be happy, but I kind of had a break down, and maybe hung up on him, and I may have just left my bathroom floor for the first time since that call, when you guys got here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo,  
> So it’s been awhile. Sorry about that. My computer is being a butt, but I’ve had the beginning of this chapter drafted for a while so I figured I should finish it. Hopefully I’ll be getting a better computer soon. But until then I will try my best with what I’ve got. A big thanks to my best friend, who has been pushing me to update for weeks now.   
> I hope y’all are doing good. :)  
> Sincerely,  
> Potatoto


End file.
